The Life You Lead

We usually are in a state of shock and disarray at the loss of a loved one. Or someone we admire. Nothing could be farther from the truth than the week of celebrities passing on. From Ed McMahon to Farrah Fawcett to Michael Jackson. Individually, they have greatly contributed to the world of entertainment and to our lives.

What kind of life are you leading? If you died tomorrow, could you honestly say that you've fulfilled your destiny? Could you say that you were truly a blessing to someone else? Have you lived?

I think Reverend Run put it best: "Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today. You only live once but if you do it right, that's all you need!"

The hand you're dealt isn't your choice, but the life you lead is up to you. Live it.

Patience in fast times

Growing up my mom used to tell me 'nothing before it's time.' It took a bit of time before I understood that and it took even longer for me to accept it.

Things sometimes need time to develop. And we need to allow that time to pass. That does not mean that you should not do anything and wait. What you should be doing is prepping yourself for change. Ready yourself as best you can for whatever is coming while you wait for things to develop. No one wants to be told they're not ready after a steady bout with impatience.

We all want it now. It's hard to wait. But the wait will be well worth it knowing you are well prepared for what's on the other side.

Take care of what you have control of -- yourself.

Due diligence

In my continuous journey of self-motivation, I do come across moments of sluggishness and reassessment. Sometimes the reason you started something just isn't valid anymore six months down the road. And sometimes you find renewed spirit in what you started. While I have touched on this before, it bears repeating. Follow through! Finish!

Most of us never finish what we start because we never truly needed it to begin with. When you need something - I mean really need something, you will shift the Earth to get it. Assess what you think you want. Are you willing to go the distance for it? You may get over the hill only to see two more hills, each steeper than the one before it. Still want it? Still need it?

And don't worry about the naysayers. Naysayers are usually the ones who don't have the courage to follow through on things themselves. Even when it seems pointless, see it through. Feeling unaccomplished is one of the worst feelings in the world.

We all have different motivational factors in our lives - money, family, friends, material things, significant others. But all of those things are just what helps to get you started, not what makes you finish. You makes you finish! What are you waiting for?

Setbacks

Setbacks get such a bad rep. I'll hear folks complaining about this or that not working out like they had hoped and really, really being upset about it. They'll say it was a disappointment. I disagree. A setback can be disappointing, but it should be viewed as a disappointment. That would be saying that you are a disappointment, and we both know that is far from the truth.

To me, setbacks are safety brakes. I view them as "take a closer look " or "look at this from another angle" statements. Life puts us in precarious situations at times and human nature causes us to act or react irrationally or impulsively. I believe a setback is just giving us a bit more time to look at that situation without the emotional baggage attached. Once we've let go of the emo-bags and dead weight, we'll have allowed ourselves to make better, smarter and much more logistically sound decisions.

I'm not saying you should be happy-go-lucky because you've had a setback. What I am saying is to access the setback. Then honestly access why it may have happened. Not enough funding? Not enough experience? Not enough time? Not enough effort?

With practice, you'll soon start to see setbacks for hat they really are... points of accessment.

Deterrents

Ever been planning something and just as you were about take your first step, something or someone comes around that claims to be more important that what you planned? How did you handle that? Did you move forward with your plans or did the "something more important" change your plans?

I have been guilty of the latter more times than I care to admit to. Everyone else's issues were just more pressing than whatever it was I had initially planned. Ha!

We let so many deterrents stop us (or slow us) from achieving success. From exercise and health choices to family and business decisions, we let the deterrents run rampant. And after they've run their courses of blockage, we are left with a void of goals unfulfilled.

So how do we combat this? Simple. Pay yourself first. It's a concept used in finance, but it applies here. Get to your finish line. Run with folks running in the same direction as you are. Attempt to catch up to those running successful races ahead of you. Deterrents are roadblocks. Deterrents run against the grain, against your grain.

Success cannot and will not ever be a deterrent. No one can stop you. It is you who choose to stop. Push the deterrents aside and if they persist tell them, "You are going to have to wait. I've got a race to finish."

But they won't stick around. Deterrents are impatient. Let them find someone else to stump.

The Avant-Garde

Last week there was a report that came out regarding the jobless market and the numbers, just like the month before, were staggering. The numbers that really struck me were the number of African-American men unemployed - from 13.3% up to 15% to date. That's crazy. But hasn't it been said that necessity is the mother of invention?

During the depression in the U.S., new and innovative companies sprouted up out of necessity of jobs, goods and services. As convoluted as some of this country's values are, it is still one of the greatest countries to build an empire from a fleeting idea.

Now is the time for the great thinkers and people of innovative thought to step up. And some of those great thinkers are nestled right within African-American communities across the nation, both impoverished and affluent.

Let us think ahead and move forward, not by reinventing the wheel, but by building better, faster and revolutionary vehicles of thought around and on top of a sound foundation.

The (Residual) Power of the Network

I got this quote from a friend of mine who posted it on his Facebook page. "Wise people make complicated ideas seem simple, while foolish people make simple ideas seem complicated." Whoever spoke these words of wisdom, spot on... spot on.

Sometimes I really think people don't get the simple task of networking. Showing up, talking, listening (not hearing) and building relationships are all parts of networking. Most folks talk about what they are doing or what they are planning to get into. While this is good, many don't listen to each other, so it just becomes a battle of who seems to have more of a life or I.R.R. (Individuals Reaching for Relevance). Not a cool club.

While networking is cool, it's the residual power of this networking that makes all the difference. Case in point: you head out and meet someone at a bar or club, talk about your business and they talk about theirs. You find common ground and offer your services/advice to help their business. Later down the line, you get a call from someone who was referred to you with high regards by the person you met in the bar/club. See? Residual.

While networking is such a simple concept, we do tend to complicate it to the point that we end up over planning and underacting.

The beauty of networking is that you make a new ally. The beauty of the residual network is that others will speak on your behalf, creating a web of allies.

Try it. You'll be amazed at the results.